I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
