It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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