from now on my penis is your penis
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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