I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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