Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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