no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
