Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
