A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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