i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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