Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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