ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That accounts for only three of the penises
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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