we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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