My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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