When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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