I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
