Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize