So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
