I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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