Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize