i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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