oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
