You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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