So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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