I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
