I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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