I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
