You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
