2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
