nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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