you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
