so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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