In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
