Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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