You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
