oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
