I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
