Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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