I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he was CRYING into my vagina
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
