I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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