If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
