real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
