I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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