i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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