i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
