You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
