My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize