yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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