No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
