This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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