dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We got so high we made milksteak
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
