i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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