We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
