what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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