please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
