i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
then he tried to convert me to islam
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
