Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
