There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
