I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
