they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
