i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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