nutella sex= disaster
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
