it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
