even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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