It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
